Tax Day Freebies Roundup

Reward yourself for conquering these complicated forms with some complicated, restriction-laden "deals" from a few of America's foremost purveyors of tasty treats!

Sending money to the government to pay for things like the fire department, social security, school lunches, air traffic control and meat inspectors? BOOOO!  Yes, it’s Tax Day again, which means long lines at the post office as everyone lines up to send their hard-earned money off to the IRS. But don’t fret, for even as The Man conspires to take your money this April 15th, many of our benevolent corporations, particularly in the food service industry, are here to ease your pain with free stuff. Behold the 2010 Juggle Tax Day Freebie Roundup:

First up is this year’s heavy hitter, the ubiquitously-located Starbucks. Just bring in a “reusable travel mug” and they’ll fill it up with coffee for free. They don’t really define what they mean by “reusable travel mug,” but since the whole premise seems to be some kind of recycling campaign, we’d suggest not trying anything paper or styrofoam. But standard ceramic coffee mugs should be fine. After all, what if your idea of travel is a leisurely walk down the street? Bonus points if you have a normal mug that will accept one of their snap on lids.

Not to be outdone by their upmarket rivals, Dunkin’ Donuts is giving away a free donut with the purchase of any hot coffee (sorry, iced coffee fans). Dunkin’ notes that this offer is available to anyone, “regardless of whether they owe taxes or are entitled to a refund.” We’re glad they cleared that up, because we were prepared to bring our taxes in for a free donut before we mailed them.

Our next item was going to be about Chick-fil-A and its puzzling array of seemingly-contradictory promotions going on today. That was, until we wandered over to the Chick-fil-A website and found this disheartening news, which explains that “any Tax Day promotion you may hear or read about are [sic] restaurant-specific not chainwide, so please call your local Chick-fil-A to see if they are having a Tax Day Promotion.” Since we can’t remember ever calling a fast food joint and are not about to start, we advise skipping Chick-fil-A today (and every Sunday).

Ice cream concern MaggieMoo’s is offering free slices of its elaborately-named and trademark laden pizza-shaped ice cream cake from 4pm-7pm today. What’s more, their link helpfully lists all the participating locations, so you won’t find yourself lamely calling local chain ice cream novelty vendors in desperate search of free cake like some crazy person. Chick-fil-A, take note!

While you’re scheduling your freebies this afternoon/evening, you’ll want to free up the smaller 6pm-8pm block for a stop at a Cinnabon, where they’re offering not one but two free “cupcake bites” per person as part of their “Tax Day Bites” promotion. (It works on two levels!) What are cupcake bites? Our best guess is that they’re mini cupcakes, but considering there’s no way to get any idea of their size based on the picture on the Cinnabon site, they’re probably tiny. The fact that they’re giving away two per person would also seem to indicate that they’re minuscule. (One final note: if you’re like us, you think of Cinnabon as that place at the airport or the occasional Mid-Atlantic highway rest stop. Well, be warned that airports are exempt from this deal, which leaves us unsure as to the rest-stop availability of free mini cupcakes as well. For once, your best bet is probably a mall food court.)

Our final Tax Day freebie deal is ever-so-slightly more upscale. If you enjoy “casual dining” and “Chinese” food as much as we do, you’ll want to hit P.F. Chang’s tonight between your MaggieMoo’s and Cinnabon freebies, as you’ll get 15% off your food there. Thankfully, they’ll also let you do lunch or take out, so you could conceivably double or even triple up. If you do dine in, you should note that this is basically just a tip neutralization plan, since you’ll be giving back at least that 15% (more if you’re nice) in tip. Still, it’s less than you’d pay ordinarily, and you really should get out more.