Monthly Archive for June, 2010

Hey Internet, Google Will Not Tell You How to “Watch Twilight Eclipse Online Free”

By: Sam, June 30, 2010 in Literature and Movies. 0 Comments Tags: , , .
A promo image featuring the cast of Twilight Eclipse

Unless you're already a pirate, this is the closest you'll come to seeing Eclipse online. Now get to a movie theater before the next showing sells out!

It’s no secret the latest Twilight movie, Eclipse, is out today, and though teen girls (and teen girls at heart) everywhere are flocking to theaters to get their vampire/ werewolf/ romance fix. For some folks though, dealing with the crowds at the theater and the overpriced popcorn are just too much. Hey, we understand–we’re still working our way through the 2008 Best Picture nominees on our Netflix queue. If you fall into this category and you just can’t wait to see what those teen vampires are up to this time you’re probably one of the folks who has driven terms like “watch eclipse online for free no surveys, watch twilight eclipse online, watch eclipse online, watch eclipse online free, and watch eclipse” straight up the Google Trends charts today.

While there may be a lot of people looking to watch Eclipse for free online, we’re here to tell you that you’re not going to magically find a site that will let you watch the film with a simple Google search. Sorry, but it’s just not going to happen. Now, if you happen to be a regular viewer of pirated, first-run films, you already know how to get your hands on Eclipse. If you’re not, though, let us please reiterate: you are not going to find a bootleg version of Eclipse just by Googling it. We know we’ve helped you with the World Cup in the past, but trust us when we say this is totally different. Our World Cup trick was totally aboveboard and relied on accessing something that was already freely available to roughly 70% of the US population. Live events that are broadcast on TV are usually pretty easy to watch on the Internet anyway, thanks to the magic of sites like Justin.tv and Ustream. Movies are something else entirely, though, especially major movies like Eclipse. The MPAA police are all over this. Googling for a free way to watch Eclipse online is basically like that scene in Office Space where they try to figure out how to launder money: If you were really serious about doing it, you’d already know how and would have made some plans in advance. (Come to think of it, this is kind of a common theme in Mike Judge movies. Extract does something similar.)

Even if you were to find a site hosting a copy of the film, it’s unlikely the quality will approach even YouTube quality. If you really care about what happens to Bella, Edward and Jacob then you should really go see it at the theatre. Do it for Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, and Taylor Lautner. They’re young and counting on you to turn their millions into tens of millions! While you’re at it, don’t forget about Twilight saga author Stephenie Meyer, who’s just ruthless enough to cut us all off from future books and movies if the box office receipts aren’t enough (we think). Why risk it?

iCade for iPad One Step Closer to Reality

By: Sam, June 29, 2010 in Technology. 0 Comments Tags: , , , , , , , , .
A prototype arcade cabinet for Apple's iPad

"It's one small step for (a) geek, one giant leap for geek-kind."

It’s no secret that here at the Juggle Blog we love to predict things. Sometimes, on very rare occasions, our predictions even come true. Because we’re occasionally right, we weren’t surprised to see that one of ThinkGeek‘s April Fools’ products, the iCade iPad arcade cabinet, has taken a major step closer to becoming a reality. As Engadget reports, a resourceful geek has taken the first steps towards making the iCade a reality. Yes, the asthetics are way-off, the iPad is mounted the wrong way, and all it plays so far is Mr. Do!, but we feel it’s nevertheless an important proof-of-concept. It’s also probably just the kind of thing that will get the folks at ThinkGeek working harder to get a real version out soon.

The cabinet itself is made by the folks at Freekade, who specialize in this sort of thing, though on a custom, one-at-a-time basis. According to the comments on the YouTube video of the prototype, it currently requires a jailbroken iPad, but they should be able to rectify that. Even if they can’t, jailbreaking seems a small price to pay for super-awesome arcade action, iPad-style. Though we doubt it will happen, Apple could generate a nearly unfathomable amount of gamer goodwill if they were to help out with this. Doing it soon might even distract folks from all those iPhone 4 reception problems we keep hearing about. In the meantime, we still maintain that ThinkGeek will offer something like this before Christmas.

So Long, Mercury

By: Sam, June 28, 2010 in Autos. 0 Comments Tags: , , , .
The 2009 Mercury Grand Marquis is posed outside well-lit outdoor mall

With this kind of youth-oriented, forward-thinking styling, it's shocking that Ford decided to shut down Mercury.

We know we’re a little late to the party here, but we’d be remiss if we didn’t take a moment to lament the loss of another proud American brand. Yes, it seems like the axe has finally fallen on Ford’s Mercury line. While we’ll keep the storied brand in our Autos section, we hope Americans keep Mercury’s legacy in their hearts.

Sure, there were some rough times (the late 1990′s Cougar with its insanely uncomfortable seats comes immediately to mind), but Mercury deserves credit for naming a car the cougar back when it just meant a large wild cat. Furthermore, Mercury stuck with ridiculous names like the Grand Marquis long after they’d gone out of fashion. Sure, it was just a slightly fancier Crown Victoria (another ridiculous name), but it was also the star of the greatest Mercury ad ever, and one for which we’ll remember the brand long after its cars have vanished from the road. The first half of the ad is ok, but the courtroom scene, in our estimation, is one of the most brilliant moments in advertising in the past twenty years. A brand that can laugh at itself like this doesn’t deserve to die.

We’ll miss you, Mercury.

World Cup 2010: USA vs Ghana

By: Sam, June 25, 2010 in Sports. 0 Comments Tags: , , , , , , , .
Michael Bradley, Landon Donovan and Clint Dempsey of the United States Men's National Soccer Team

Look out, Ghana. Landon Donavan and Team USA are "Ghana" get you!(Apologies. We really couldn't resist.)

This time, it’s for real. Seriously–now that the United States has reached the 16-team, single-elimination portion of the 2010 World Cup in South Africa, nearly half of what drives us crazy about soccer just magically goes away. Sure, the scores will remain low, the players will still routinely flop and all sorts of terrible calls will deprive Team USA of goals. But take heart in the fact that the ties that plague international soccer are hereby banished from the World Cup; from here on out they’ll play overtime and then go to penalty kicks if necessary. Decisive results!

Now that we know that one team will leave Saturday’s round of 16 match a loser, what do we know about Ghana? First off, they’re a former British colony in west Africa, next to Côte d’Ivoire. Ghana’s also home to two airlines, both of which fly from Accra, the capital. Even though the team drew the US thanks to a loss against Germany on Wednesday, they’re nothing to sneeze at on the pitch, as their team is loaded with players from the top European teams. Don’t worry though, the team also has French-style internal problems, including a player cursing out a coach, but it seems like they’ve handled it better. Still, they haven’t won since the meltdown, so maybe they’re still on a collision course with implosion. The US should certainly hope so, as we could use a decisive victory instead of the nail-biters to which we’ve become accustomed.

U-S-A!

Our Forecast: Cloudy, with a Chance of Woot-Off

By: Sam, June 24, 2010 in Shopping. 0 Comments Tags: , , .
The iconic Woot Screaming Monkey with Red Woot Cape

Curse you and your monkeys, Woot! We'll predict a Woot-off yet!

Editor’s Note: We had the post below all ready to go this morning, until we woke up this morning and discovered that there’s a Woot-Off in progress. We’re running the post below as an acknowledgement of just how much the folks at Woot have gotten in our heads. They’re always one step ahead!

So the last time there was a Woot-Off we retroactively bragged that we’d cracked the code, and predicted a Woot-Off for Tuesday. Since there wasn’t one then or yesterday either, we can’t really say we called it. That said, there’s a pattern, and one that’s been holding for the last six months or thereabouts. Like geologists at a volcano, we can’t tell you when a Woot-Off might come, but we can tell you that one’s overdue. Maybe we’re just too good and Woot is onto us? This might seem impossible, but we recently discovered that they’ve set up shop across the river from us in St. Louis. Woot is nothing if not sneaky, and we wouldn’t put it by them to be actively foiling our predictions, just because they can.

With that in mind, we officially retract our prediction (wink, wink). There’s absolutely no way there will be a Woot-Off any time soon (nudge, nudge).

World Cup 2010: USA vs. Algeria

By: Sam, June 23, 2010 in Sports. 0 Comments Tags: , , , , , , , , .
World Cup Ref Koman Coulibaly, of USA-Slovenia fame

Remember this guy? He's not working today's game, which, by our estimation means the US should get at least 5 more goals than they would otherwise.

With less than an hour to go until kickoff here in the central (central!) time zone, it’s time once again for some quick recon on the USA‘s Group C World Cup opponent, Algeria. The good news for the US is that Algeria is considered the worst team in Group C, so the Americans will be favored. Another huge advantage for the US is the fact that Algeria used to belong to France, and France has utterly imploded at this World Cup, having already been eliminated amidst internal team chaos. If the Americans are lucky, such chaos and discombobulation runs in the post-colonial family.

On the bad news for the US front, Algeria did manage to tie England, and England tied the Americans. By the transitive property of international soccer this should mean the US will tie Algeria. As Deadspin explains, a US tie and an England loss to Slovenia (not Slovakia!) means the US moves on. A US victory also means the team moves on, but a loss and they’re out. Even the tie situation is risky because if England also ties the whole thing comes down to odd tiebreakers like “goal differential” and, eventually a coin flip (really). For safety’s sake, the US finally needs to win one, refs-be-damned.

iPhone 4 Reviews Are In, and They’re Good

By: Sam, June 22, 2010 in Technology. 0 Comments Tags: , , , , , .
Two iPhone 4's lie flat on a black surface

So will the reviewers like the iPhone 4 or will they love the iPhone 4? (We're talking about Apple here, so there's not really much of a choice.)

It’s that time again… Hot on the heels of this morning’s news that Apple will get the iPhone 4 into some customer’s hands by tomorrow morning (a day ahead of the retail release), the embargo on iPhone 4 reviews has been lifted, and the floodgates of the major reviewers have opened. We’ve got a quick roundup of the major reviews below.

Over at the Wall Street Journal the granddaddy of them all, Walt Mossberg is surprisingly faint in his praise, aggressively (though probably deservedly) harshing on AT&T‘s shoddy cell network:

“Just as with its predecessors, I can’t recommend this new iPhone for voice calling for people who experience poor AT&T reception, unless they are willing to carry a second phone on a network that works better for them.”

Longtime Mossberg watchers needn’t worry though, because Uncle Walt still loves him some Apple, he just can’t make it as obvious:

“For everyone else, however, I’d say that Apple has built a beautiful smartphone that works well, adds impressive new features and is still, overall, the best device in its class.”

Still, we’re left wondering how long until Mossberg becomes Apple’s official technology columnist. The way things are going for print media, it might not be too long.

Meanwhile, David Pogue of the New York Times appears to be trying (and this time succeeding) at out-Mossberging Mossberg. Pogue absolutely loves the iPhone 4. Though he concedes there are some other impressive phones out there, he’s basically gushing the whole time. To wit:

“Apple releases only one new model a year, so the new iPhone had better be pretty amazing to compete. It is.”

Pogue also loves the new design:

“The result [of the new design] is beautiful, and since there’s no more plastic, it feels solid and Lexus-like.”

Over in the News-You-Can-Use Department, USA Today‘s Ed Baig takes his time and makes sure to carefully explain everything, using helpful subheads like “iBooks: read some digital books.” Keeping with the trend, Baig really likes the phone, dresrbing video-calling system FaceTime as the phone’s “killer feature:”

“I was impressed with the quality and ease of FaceTime calling, though the experience seems to depend on a strong Wi-Fi connection. I encountered momentary hiccups talking with a caller in Europe and on calls in which I was on the edge of decent Wi-Fi.”

Sadly, Baig ends his writeup in true USA Today-style with a completely phoned-in (pardon our pun) conclusion:

“Cutting through the hype, Apple has given longtime diehards, and first-time iPhone owners, plenty to cheer about.”

A very awkward video feature alongside the article further illustrates how Baig is best advised to stick to the writing thing.

In what’s sure to come as a huge shock, Gizmodo didn’t get a pre-release iPhone 4 to review, so it’s just Engadget‘s Joshua Topolsky on the gadget blog front, and the occasional Late Night with Jimmy Fallon guest loves the new model. On the screen:

“Overall, you simply won’t find a better display on a phone, and that’s not just lip service.”

On battery life:

“…we think under pretty active use, the iPhone 4 blows Apple’s previous generation phone out of the water, and makes a lot of the competition look downright needy.”
In case there’s any doubt as to where Engadget stands, Topolsky goes on to declare that “the iPhone 4 is the best smartphone on the market.”

More so than the other publications, Engadget really gets into the nerdy nitty-gritty, but at the same time is not at all critical of Apple, noting that although iOS4 doesn’t feature “true” multitasking, the result is basically good enough for most uses. We’re guessing that someone at Engadget figured out that there’s money to be made being the major gadget blog that’s not accused of buying stolen Apple property.

All in all, it seems like nothing but aces for Apple again, but the admiration of the press hasn’t really been their problem lately, has it? Since we know it’s already selling like hotcakes, the only question that really remains is Will It Blend? We imagine it won’t be long until we find out.

The Pac is Back!

By: Sam, June 21, 2010 in Television and Video Games. 0 Comments Tags: , , , .
A rendering of what the world Pac-Man might look like in real life

Finally! A Pac-Man TV show for my generation!

Riding high off of his star turn on the Google homepage a few weeks back, Pac-Man is certainly making the most of his return to prominence. As we noted in our post commemorating his 30th birthday, Pac-Man was the star of an ABC cartoon series in the early 1980′s. Like a lot of people who were big in the 80′s, Pac-Man looks to be getting another chance.

That’s right, Variety reported last week that Pac-Man (an 80′s fad) is poised to reappear on the small screen in 3D (a current fad). Even better than this awesome collision of ridiculous fads is the plot: Pac-Man is a high school student unaware of his awesome powers, which he must use to save the world, with the help of his ghost friends Pinky, Inky, Blinky and Clyde.

Yes, you read that correctly. Somehow the ghosts, who you might remember from their relentless attempts to kill Pac-Man, are now his friends. Former Marvel Studios CEO Avi Arad, who’s pitching the project, is quoted as saying “As a filmmaker, it’s a unique opportunity to get to know the characters you play. … We don’t know what happened to Pac-Man’s parents. He’s the only yellow one in Pac-Land; what does that mean? Is it a social statement? We’ll find out.”

We sure hope we will, because we’re fairly certain that no one under the age of about 30 has any interest in Pac-Man’s backstory or his relationship with his “friends” the ghosts, to say nothing of his parents or the discrimination he’s surely suffered as “the only yellow one in Pac-Land.” Sorry, Avi, we’re not drinking your Kool-Aid this time. We remember all too well what happened to Q*bert.

World Cup 2010: USA vs Slovenia–Know Your Enemy!

By: Sam, June 18, 2010 in Sports. 1 Comment Tags: , , , , , , .
A beautiful canal in Ljubljana, Slovenia

Sure, it's a beautiful country, but there's got to be some reason to root against Slovenia, right?

We’re just an hour or so away from another World Cup kickoff  here in the central (central!) time zone, so what better time to learn up on Team USA‘s Group C opponent: Slovenia? (If you’re away from a TV, don’t forget to check out our Guide to Watching the World Cup Online for Free.)

The first thing you should know is that it’s Slovenia, not Slovakia. Slovenia is immedieatly east of Italy along the Mediterranean coast and was once a part of Yugoslavia. Slovakia is a landlocked country in Central Europe that borders Poland and is half of what used to be Czechoslovakia. So yes, similar names, both formerly communist-ruled, but aside from that entirely different countries.

Now that we’ve cleared that up, what else do we know about Slovenia? It’s population is just over 2 million and it has 1.9 million cell phone users and 1.3 million internet users. This is all well and good, but how can we really get a feel for Slovenia before the match? One way we like to get to know new places is to check out their best and worst hotels on TripAdvisor. For simplicity’s sake we’ve restricted our perusal to Ljubljana, Slovenia’s capital and largest city. (We’re sure the whole country’s nice, but we’re not planning a trip there, we just want to learn more before we root against them in the World Cup.)
Continue reading ‘World Cup 2010: USA vs Slovenia–Know Your Enemy!’

Not-At-All Surprising News Flash: Justin Bieber Looks Just Like a 27 Year-Old Woman

By: Sam, June 17, 2010 in Celebrities. 2 Comments Tags: , , .
A photo of 27 year-old bar patron "Katie" alongside one of 16 year-old musical performer Justin Bieber

One of these people is a 16 year-old international superstar. The other is a 27 year-old woman at a tourist bar in Maryland. We can't tell which is which either. (photo: TMZ)

Something crazy went down in Ocean City, Maryland last weekend. Of course, out in “the OC” (Don’t call it that!), crazy stuff is always going down, but this was even crazier than normal since it involved a real live celebrity. As the crack celebrity investigative team at TMZ reports, Ocean City police raided the Mug & Mallet after numerous bar patrons reported that none other than Justin Bieber was putting down beers with the tourists. Alas, it wasn’t the 16 year-old record company creation and quasi-hoax, but instead a 27 year-old woman named Katie who rocks the same haircut. Even more hilarious than the overall mix-up, though, is that the Ocean City cops didn’t initially believe that Katie wasn’t really Justin (they backed off when she produced her ID). We’re also obligated to note that Justin Bieber won’t be coming to Maryland until September, when he’s headlining at the State Fair.

Here’s the line of thought the cops needed to subscribe to in order to get to that point: imagine that you’re a huge celebrity for no apparent reason, and you’re inexplicably drinking at a tourist bar on the boardwalk in Maryland. You know that you’re well underage and that people will certainly recognize you, so naturally you’ve come up with a story to tell in case you’re hassled by the local constabulary, and that story is that you’re not you! It’s all just a big misunderstanding because you’re really 11 years older and a woman!

Many, many people have had to make up stories to explain their underage drinking the cops over the years, but we’re pretty sure that exactly no one in the teenage boy demographic has ever employed the “it’s not me but rather a much older woman” ruse. Then again, the Ocean City police might have heard a few more of these stories than us, so who’s to say? The boardwalk there does look pretty crazy, and for underage drinkers of an intellectual bent, the whole thing could be an embodiment of the Maryland state motto: manly deeds, womanly words. Still, we’re not convinced the Ocean City coppers weren’t trained at the Police Academy, in which case shouldn’t they be raiding the Blue Oyster?