Watch as We Test a Robot’s Week 1 NFL Predictions

We know Fox's football robot is mediocre at miming football "moves," but perhaps robots are better at picking games? Join us as we find out.

If you’re like us, you’re probably desperately searching for that sure-fire system that will guarantee victory in your office’s football prediction “contest.” This is not that system, yet. (We say contest because we’re sure you’d never do anything that’s technically illegal like participate in a so-called football “pool” for real money. Like us and everyone we know, we’re sure you just play for the pride of winning.)

Since we’ve yet to devise a system ourselves, we’ll try out one here each Friday until we find one that works. In the past, we’ve read that the consensus pick of Yahoo users has beaten all the expert picks, but we’re not so sure that holds up. If need be, we’ll test it–and some variations–later. For this first attempt, we’re going to straight-up ask a computer in the form of ESPN‘s Accuscore predictions (second column from the right), which claim to have beaten ESPN, Yahoo and Fox‘s experts for the past two years. Is this good enough to beat that guy who always wins in your office, though? We’re not sure, since we can’t find any historical numbers for our office “contest.”  With that out of the way, let’s take a look at this week’s picks:

(winning team in bold)
Vikings at Saints
Since this was last night, we know it was correct, and 1-0 feels pretty good.

Dolphins at Bills
Miami’s not great, but Buffalo is just terrible, and this early in the season Buffalo’s cold weather advantage over the Fins is moot.

Lions at Bears
We know some folks are skeptical of the Bears, and perhaps rightly so, but it seems unlikely they’ll lose to even an improved Detroit team.

Raiders at Titans
An improved Oakland team is not a good Oakland team. Also, Chris Johnson is sicknasty.

Bengals at Patriots
Despite all their TV shows, Ochocinco and TO are no match for that dashing Tom Brady.

Panthers at Giants
Without interception machine Jake Delhomme, Carolina should be much improved, but so should the Giants’ defense. Advantage: New York.

Falcons at Steelers
Our heart says Matt Ryan will take care of business, but the Accuscore robot says Steelers. Maybe the robot is right?

Browns at Buccaneers
Two terrible teams enter, one team wins. Shouldn’t it be the home team?

Broncos at Jaguars
See above.

Colts at Texans
Sure, Houston’s due to make a statement in their division, but Peyton’s due to play football again and have a huge day.

Cardinals at Rams
A gripping division matchup to open the season! Who are we kidding? The Rams should just try to keep Sam Bradford alive.

Packers at Eagles
Kevin Kolb is not the answer, but Aaron Rodgers most definitely is.

49ers at Seahawks
Seattle may want to try to sneak that 12th man on the field this year. They’re going to need all the help they can get.

Cowboys at Redskins
Is Dallas any good this year? Maybe not, but they’re certainly better than the mercenaries that make up the Redskins.

Ravens at Jets
Both teams play some nasty defense, but only Baltimore plays offense.

Chargers at Chiefs
We’re not sure what  the Chiefs did that made the NFL give them a Monday night game, but we’re pretty sure it won’t happen again.

Come back next Friday when we’ll tally up the week one results and see if it’s time to change systems or let it ride. And hey–let’s be careful out there.