Week 13 NFL Picks, In Which We Clear Some Things Up (Plus Results from Weeks 11 and 12!)

If he keeps picking games well, we may have to send Merril Hoge an adult-sized tie. He's on his own for a shirt with a normal sized collar, though.

Happy December. After a delicious Thanksgiving last week (made even more delicious by our 3-0 Thanksgiving game record using picks entirely our own), we’re back and more convinced than ever that we’ve found the easiest way to reliably pick NFL games without thinking. (Hint: we’ve been using it since Week 7.) Before we get to all the excitement of all this weeks  borrowed “expert” picks though, we need to go over some results.

First up, Week 11. Our picks, courtesy of Eric Allen, of all people, went a respectable 12-4. While not the best result of ESPN‘s panel of “experts,” it’s nothing to sneeze at. Keeping with our rule of picking the “expert” with best record the previous week, for Week 12 we would have gone with Mike Golic (who had a 14-2 Week 11 record). Golic’s Week 12 picks went for a decent-but-not-great 11-5, within spitting distance of Merril Hoge, who won the week at 12-4.

All of this of course means that we’ll be using Merril’s picks this week, along with our usual smattering of justifications for them. Join us after the jump, won’t you?

(As has been our custom, we’ll put the predicted winner of each game in bold and italics. Remember that we’re using ESPN “expert” Merril Hoge’s picks since he had the best record last week.)

Saints at Bengals
Is there a more disappointing NFL franchise, year and and year out, than Cincinnati? We can’t think of one, though maybe five years ago we might have cast New Orleans in the same light, and look at them now–they’re sure to beat up on a disappointing Bengals squad!

Bears at Lions
Just when you think Chicago is hopeless they go and do something crazy like winning four straight following their bye week, culminating with a victory over Philadelphia last week. On the other side of the ball, the Lions, are 2-9 overall, but 2-3 at home. Does this mean that Detroit might win this division matchup? In a word, no.

49ers at Packers
It’s a long, cold trip out to Green Bay for San Francisco, and it’s going to be a longer, colder trip home after they’re blown out by the Packers. This kind of game is just what Green Bay needs after a close loss to a hot Atlanta team last week.

Jaguars at Titans
Having started an undrafted rookie QB for two weeks in a row and going winless since October, Tennessee might just be ready to throw in the towel. Or to begin a playoff run. Our guess is the former, considering how unstable the Titans have been for over a month now, combined with how well Jacksonville’s been playing, winning 3 of their last 4.

Broncos at Chiefs
We’d call Dever disappointing, but did anyone really think they’d be any better? Kansas City, on the other hand–wow. Has there been a more dramatic NFL turnaround this year? Is there anyway the Chiefs can lose? Can we end this in a question?

Browns at Dolphins
The Browns have exceeded a lot of expectations this year, and have been impressive knocking off some of the league’s best teams. Cleveland remains, however, a young team that’s overachieving, rather than an ascendant powerhouse. Miami might not be on their way to dominance, but they’re the better team here.

Bills at Vikings
Last week, Buffalo dropped a game-winning touchdown in overtime. This week, a newly running-focused Minnesota squad (thanks to a new coach) will make that an impossibility.

Redskins at Giants
Washington-New York is a classic December division rivalry, except that Washington is a mediocre team that’s been decimated by injuries and can’t run the ball to save their lives. Advantage Giants.

Raiders at Chargers
Right on schedule, San Diego has begun its typical November-December run of greatness. This means two things. First, the Chargers will steamroll division opponent Oakland this week. And second, that San Diego’s season will end in early January after a first-round playoff loss. Again.

Cowboys at Colts
Dallas is making a late season run at respectability and not finishing last in the NFC East (with help from the Redskins). Meanwhile Indianapolis is suddenly looking more vulnerable than they have in recent memory. Is the age of Manning drawing to a close? A lot more people will be asking the question after the Colts drop one at home to the Cowboys.

Rams at Cardinals
Saint Louis is a young team learning to play together, and rookie QB Sam Bradford is playing like a seasoned vet. Arizona, on the other hand, is directionless and reeling after an embarrassing Monday night loss to another division rival. St. Louis will be in good shape in a very weak NFC West after this win.

Panthers at Seahawks
Sure, Seattle is bad, but Carolina’s much worse. Plus the Seahawks are at home. 12th man!

Falcons at Buccaneers
Atlanta’s looking as good as any NFC team right now, and although division rival Tampa Bay has a winning record, they’ve yet to beat a club with a winning record. Even at home this week, that won’t change. The Falcons have this one well in hand.

Steelers at Ravens
A truly fantastic slate of weekly primetime games begins Sunday night in Baltimore, where the winner of the Steelers-Ravens contest takes home first place in the AFC North. Considering Baltimore won their first matchup, you have to figure Pittsburgh is due.

Jets at Patriots
In what should be a truly epic game, the two best teams in the AFC (and division rivals!) meet on Monday night. New York has had the Pat’s number lately, but you have to figure New England comes into a critical division game like this prepared. The Patriots will win a game that’s not as close as you’d think.

Last night, the Texans played the Eagles, but since we don’t have NFL Network, we’re pretending it didn’t happen. We hope you picked the Philadelphia. They were the obvious choice.

Join us again next week to see how Merril Hoge’s picks treated us, and who will be our standard-bearer next week. It’s December and it’s getting cold out, so let’s be careful out there.