Talk of baseball blew up my morning Facebook feed, which can only mean one thing: the boys of summer are baaaack! For me, the start of baseball is synonymous with a lot of things, including beer, hot dogs, beer, nachos, beer and popcorn (not to insinuate that I need baseball in order to drink beer). It also means that summer is almost here…finally! And lastly, it means I can officially commence my trash talking against all things Chicago Cubs, which really brings me to one of life’s biggest mysteries: How do Cubs fans confidently talk smack against anyone, let alone St. Louis Cardinals fans. 
Continue reading ‘The Cards-Cubs Rivalry Commences’
Monthly Archive for March, 2011
A California mom is giving her 8-year-old daughter Botox injections in her forehead, lips and around her eyes every three months because, hold your breath, mom says she wants her daughter to be a superstar. But seriously, don’t worry people. Mom (Kerry) says she, like, totally tests the Botox and fillers bought online, like, on herself first. 
Dr. 90210 claims, “I know one day she will be a model, actress or singer and having these treatments now will ensure she stays looking younger and baby-faced for longer. I’m sure people think I’m being irresponsible.” For the record, California mom, I don’t think you’re being irresponsible. I think you are totally delusional and setting your child up for a lifetime of body image issues and irreversible psychological problems.
Aside from the fact that the FDA has not approved Botox for use in children, Botox is a toxin. I repeat, Botox is a toxin people! In fact, it’s the same toxin that can cause a life-threatening type of food poisoning called botulism. Real doctors use it in small doses, but who am I to say this mom (who is a self-proclaimed licensed beautician) isn’t appropriately trained to inject this into her daughter, Britney?
Britney also seems to love tolerate the Botox treatments. She said, “My friends think it’s cool I have all the treatments, and they want to be like me. I check every night for wrinkles, and when I see some, I want more injections. They used to hurt, but now I don’t cry that much. I also want a boob and nose job soon so that I can be a star.”
The road to stardom is clear. Botox. Boobs. Nosejob. Damn. I wish someone would have told me.
Can somebody please call Child Protective Services on this nightmare?
Come again? Are people really trying to argue that MTV’s Teen Mom glorifies teenage pregnancy? Have you watched that train-wreck of a show? In case you’ve missed the headlines on major news networks like CNN or FoxNews or cover stories in gossip tabloids such as US Weekly, that show does NOT glorify pregnancy. 
Teen Mom, a reality series spin-off on MTV detailing the lives of young moms (and daddy’s when they choose to actually stick around), depicts the very harsh realities of teenage moms trying to balance motherhood with school and social life. Oh, and trying to get enough dollar dollar bills to raise a child.
Recent headlines are filled with stories of Teen Mom’s notorious star Jenelle Evans straight-up jackin’ another girl in the face for messing with her man. Oh no she didn’t. The victim, Brittany Muggard, and Jenelle both face charges from the D.A.’s office for disorderly conduct for fighting in a public place. If convicted, the girls could face a maximum of 60 days in jail. Really, this example is just the top of the iceberg when it comes to hot messes on the show.
While MTV argues that Teen Mom does depict the harsh reality of being young parents, critics have argued that teenagers nation-wide who dream of fame get pregnant just to audition for the show. Apparently something about dead-beat baby daddy’s, domestic disputes, trashy grandparents and the absence of a social life appeals to these young whippersnappers. I suppose one could argue that teenage girls are extremely impressionable, and the tabloids do nothing but help blur the lines between being famous and infamous.
Trust me…these girls are infamous, not famous.
RIPPPPPP! That sound you hear is brackets all over America being ripped to shreds. The final four teams are locked and loaded, and chances are, not a single person in America guessed this right. Virginia Commonwealth (we’ll get to that later), Kentucky, UConn and Butler will square off this weekend in Houston, Texas for the chance to become NCAA Champions. This weekend was a wild ride…
The final four teams are locked, loaded and headed to Houston for a chance at becoming the 2011 NCAA Champions.
Kansas Jayhawks did it again, and I mean that in a bad way. VCU (who?) rammed them early and often. Actually, it wasn’t even close, and Kansas followed with their yearly tradition of losing to no-name teams from no-name conferences (2010 – lost to Northern Iowa in the second round, 2006 – lost to Bradley in the first round, 2005 – lost to Bucknell in the first round). The team that might not have even received an N.I.T. bid is making the most of their 15 days of fame. On to the Final Four. If VCU is catching…I’ll have what they are having. Rams win it 71-61.
You got to hand it to the Tar Heels for playing with heart for the entire 40 minutes and giving the Kentucky Wildcats a run for their money, but this was a race Kentucky led from the get-go. The Wildcats and Calapari are headed to Houston, and Ashley Judd is happy! Kentucky in a squeaker: 76-69.
The boys in black and their never say die attitude did it…AGAIN! In yet another great game, in yet another down-to-the-wire comeback, the Butler Bulldogs made gatorbait of Florida. If you are shocked that the bulldogs are headed to the final four for the second consecutive year, you really shouldn’t be (even if they are only the third non-major conference team to make it to back-to-back final fours). Butler dogs Florida 74-71.
In yet another buzzer shot, UConn held on to beat the boys of ‘Zona in a thriller. The Huskies are the last team standing of the Big East’s 11 NCAA entrants. After going just 9-9 in regular-season conference play, few would have guessed 3 weeks ago that this would be the only team out of the powerhouse conference left standing. Huskies send the cats packin’ 65-63.
In conclusion, unless you picked your brackets based on your favorite color or the cutest mascots (which, let’s be honest…you would have been better off doing so), chances are you have no chance.
Using the standard that new dictionary additions must be widely “used and understood”, the Oxford English Dictionary recently added “FYI”, “LOL” and “OMG” to its pages. How about “STFU”? Oh wait… the “f-word” also made the cut (not literally f**k, but “f-word”). I have a real problem with this for too many reasons.
If "LOL" is now in the Oxford English Dictionary, does that mean I can use it in Scrabble?
For starters, these “words” are more like abbreviations and can somewhat be quantified as an acronym, which is an abbreviation composed of the initial letters or syllables of a compound term. An example of this is DOS, which means Disk Operating System. It is widely accepted and understood that when people say “DOS”, this is to what they are referring. But really, if I requested the assistance of Jay Leno and did some “Jaywalking” through the streets, I’m certain I would find a plethora of people who could NOT identify its origin. And the same goes for “LOL”, “OMG” and “FYI”. Just ask my grandma.
Every year around this time, the rocket-scientists at OED release a list of new words that will be welcomed to its pages. The words are always abso-freaking-lutely ridiculous and cause me to question everything about the language I studied so hard in college (well, I actually partied a lot in college, but it still makes me mad).
I suppose that just because a word is in the Oxford English Dictionary isn’t justification for its use; however, when conducting more thorough and intense research Googling other words, I found that “Bootylicious” (a woman with junk in her trunk), “Grrrrrl” (a young woman regarded as independent and strong) and “himbo” (a male bimbo) also made the cut. And for the record, Microsoft Word puts red squiggles under every single one of these words.
Rhetorical question: Who makes these decisions, and does this mean I can play these words in Scrabble?
Designed by creative agency The Church of London, Google quietly launched Think Quarterly, an online magazine of sorts published four times annually. Featuring no advertising, the publication is absolutely free to view.
Google quietly launched Think Quarterly, an online magazine intended to serve as a "unique communications tool".
Think Quarterly, published at www.thinkquarterly.co.uk, is a communication tool intended for business partners and “anyone who is interested”. With feature interviews on Vodafone UK CEO Guy Lawrence and Google Chief Economist Hal Varian, among others, most of the content is aimed to provide thought pieces about major business and technology, including topics from a variety of freelancers and contributors, like the Guardian’s Simon Rogers.
Google denies they are aiming to crossover into the media business, instead claiming the publication is simply a “unique communications tool”. Matt Brittin, Google’s managing director in the UK and Ireland, wrote, “Our first issue is dedicated to data – amongst a morass of information, how can you find the magic metrics that will help transform your business? We hope that you find inspiration, insights, and more, in Think Quarterly.”
Britin, Google’s Managing Director, also noted, “Our first issue is dedicated to Data – amongst a morass of information, how can you find the magic metrics that will help transform your business? We hope that you find inspiration, insights, and more, in Think Quarterly.”
As speculation continues to swirl on Google’s intent for the future, Google execs will swear up and down its ranks that they have no intent to produce content, only organize and manage it. Only time will tell.
The Saint Louis Business Journal announced that Juggle won its “2011 Best Places to Work” award. This annual award issued by the editorial staff of the St. Louis Business Journal recognizes companies in the St. Louis metro area that offer an outstanding work environment. Duh, Winning!
The Saint Louis Business Journal awarded Juggle.com with its "2011 Best Places to Work" award.
All members of the Juggle team enjoy the benefits of “the Juggle Lounge,” featuring free snacks, beer on tap, couches, beer on tap, games like Ping-Pong ball, pool and shuffleboard and beer on tap. In addition, team members can stay fit in the state-of-the-art workout room, complete with lockers and showers. Weekly massages, daily delivered lunches, haircuts and oil changes are also a few of the team’s favorite perks. Oh, and have I mentioned beer on tap?
The Business Journal surveyed 18,022 employees from 127 companies (with a combined employee count of 54,923) and awarded 20 companies in the area. But really, none offer the same perks as Juggle. I’m just sayin…
On top of all of that, Juggle team members also participate in various off-hours work functions, such as golf and bowling, to promote team building and open-communication. On April 1, the company will go to Skyzone to compete in a family friendly game of dodgeball while bouncing on trampolines (as a side note: I’m pretty much going to dominate).
Stephanie Leffler, CEO of Juggle.com, understands the impact work environment can have on productivity levels. “Our team is our biggest asset. We believe that each member of our team will best perform in a comfortable, well appointed space that is designed to inspire creativity.” In order to accomplish this, Juggle’s president, Ryan Noble, began working with architect Bill Hustedde to design the company’s headquarters. In May of 2010, Juggle.com moved into their new space. “Creating an exciting, yet functional atmosphere was our number one priority,” stated Noble.
Juggle also employs a full time curator for its over-the-top environment, facilities manager Gary “Hutch” Hutchings. When asked how he felt about the announcement of the winners, Hutchings said, “I am truly honored by the award. Working at Juggle is a pleasure because the team is great and very appreciative; they make it easy to come in everyday and work hard.” All that anyone needs to know is that Hutch makes this place run, and he is legit.
Did I mention beer on tap?
In November & December of 2009, Juggle sponsored driver Mark Green (#49) for 2 Nationwide Series NASCAR races. After the races we acquired the car driven in the races and decided to make it the centerpiece of our office. We think it makes a great addition, there's not too many offices that have an actual NASCAR race car inside.
We have a full drink bar, including soft drinks, coffees, and several micro-brews on draught.
Our lounge area is a relaxing comfortable place where team members can take a break and relax. We offer several snacks like fresh fruit, health bars, cereals and other sweet treats.
The Juggle office also has foosball, ping pong and a few other games if the need for competition should arise.
Our team work area is a little different than most offices. Unlike your typical cube farm office, we've set up our workstations in a simple layout making it easy for our team collaborate and share ideas. We also wanted to keep it fun so we have several movie props, signs and several Lego structures places around the office.
How does one make sleeping with eight women at one time seem minor, at best? Why, claim you were abducted by aliens, of course…twice!
Sammy Hagar, most widely- known as the Van Halen guitarist and, more recently, author, is out promoting his new memoir, “Red: My Uncensored Life in Rock,” and also, apparently, forcing people to question just how much his heavy drug and alcohol use affected not only his judgment, but also his ability to discern between fantasy and reality. Is this real life?
Hagar admits that he has indulged in a lot of booze and drugs over the years, but he also admits that it never got too far out of control. He claims to have “a natural stop button”. In the book, Hagar also says, “I was eating in the greatest restaurants, drinking the finest wine, flying on private jets, walking on stage to sold-out audiences going crazy. The only thing missing was … I don’t think anything was missing.”
While promoting his new book, "Red: My Uncensored Life of Rock," Hagar asserts that his claims about Alien abduction are real.
He also admitted, “Sure, I did a lot of things in excess. But if you look at the core, the foundation of what I pursued, what red-blooded young American male in my position wouldn’t?” Oh wait, sorry. That was Charlie Sheen.
In an interview with MTV, Hagar claims, “It was real. [Aliens] were plugged into me. It was a download situation. This was long before computers or any kind of wireless. There weren’t even wireless telephones. Looking back now, it was like…they downloaded something into me.”
Sure Sammy. We believe you.
Hey AT&T, Whatever Happened to Capitalism?
Let’s play math games. Capitalism is a social system based on the principle of individual rights. The absolute foundation of capitalism is competition. The entire essence of our free market system lies in consumer choice. Take away that choice and the consumer becomes powerless.
AT&T acquires T-Mobile for $39 billion, effectively overtaking Verizon Wireless as the world's leader in mobile-phone service.
AT&T recently announced the acquisition of T-Mobile, the fourth largest mobile-phone company, for $39 billion. The move effectively combines the second- and fourth-largest mobile-phone companies, allowing AT&T to add 34 million customers and surpass Verizon Wireless as the world’s leader.
The total transition is expected to take at least 12 months as government officials must approve the acquisition and iron out many of the details; however, some federal lawmakers immediately expressed concern that the merger would dampen competition and lead to fewer options and higher prices for mobile services.
Uh…you think? The cellular market used to have upwards of five local providers to choose from and is now left to three (ATT, Verizon and Sprint). The presence of those smaller companies is needed to keep the large companies semi-honest (maybe). If you thought the companies were cocky before, just wait till they’re down to three. After this, they will do to you whatever tickles their fancy.
Count on it.
Press release follows:
AT&T TO ACQUIRE T-MOBILE USA FROM DEUTSCHE TELEKOM
Provides fast, efficient and certain solution to impending spectrum exhaust challenges facing AT&T and T-Mobile USA in key markets due to explosive demand for mobile broadband
Enhances network capacity, output and quality in near term for both companies’ customers
AT&T commits to expand 4G LTE deployment to an additional 46.5 million Americans, including in rural, smaller communities, for a total of 294 million or 95% of the U.S. population
Provides 4G LTE service for T-Mobile USA’s 34 million subscribers
More than $8 billion in incremental infrastructure spend by a U.S. company over seven years, enabling nation’s high-tech industry, innovation and economic growth
Creates substantial value for AT&T shareholders through large, straightforward synergies
I love the Saint Louis Cardinals. With a winning franchise, hall of fame players and announcers, world class fans and domination over the Chicago Cubs, what’s there not to love? I even love the Arizona Cardinals (but only because my beloved Kurt Warner played there). The Stanford Cardinals are likeable, sort of, and the bird itself? Yeah, it’s red and flies so I guess I like it too.
But right now, I have extreme hate in my heart for the Louisville Cardinals who went and messed up my whole gosh darn bracket. On the opening day of the 2011 NCAA basketball tournament, Morehead State’s Harper dropped a 3-point bomb at the top of the key with 4.2 seconds left lifting #13-seeded Morehead State over #4-seeded Louisville, who is about to suffer several decades worth of MoreHead jokes (…don’t act like you weren’t thinking the same thing).
Morehead State kicked off the 2011 NCAA Tournament with one one of the biggest Cinderella wins in tournament history.
The win also effectively kicked off the first Cinderella story of the tournament, and 2 other teams followed suit. Let’s face it. One of the most enjoyable things about the NCAA tournament – for basketball fanatics and casual observers alike – is the Cinderella story (unless, of course, Cinderella beat your team). The #12-seeded Richmond Spiders (I know, right? What a ridiculous mascot) won over #5-seeded Vanderbilt and #11-seeded Gonzaga defeated #6-seeded St. John’s, although I wouldn’t ever consider Gonzaga a Cinderella story. They’ve become too good and have been in the tournament too many times to be considered underdogs anymore, even if the seeding indicates otherwise.
Today brings the second day of round 1 excitement and fun. And if Louisville killed your bracket (just a little) like it did mine, remember: March Madness is a marathon, not a sprint.
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